Sexual fantasies, no matter how common or uncommon they are, will always have a swarm of controversy revolving around them. While some women dream about having sex with dirty, greasy-hand car mechanism, other can’t grasp the idea of “getting dirty” while doing so. But some sexual fantasies are more controversial than others, and one of the best examples is women dreaming about being raped. If you’ve ever had such a fantasy, what does that say about you?

No, It’s Not

What most women fantasies about as being raped doesn’t even come close to what this horrid act actually means. When women dream of rape, they are sexually attracted to the “rapist”, and them being “forced” is actually a consensual act between two adults.

In real-life scenarios, rape is filled with force, disgust, and there is nothing arousing about it. The keyword when discussing this delicate topic is “consent”. Even when a man is married to a woman and he is forcing himself upon her, it can be considered rape. By the very definition of the word, rape does not require the consent of both parties.

Studies have shown that women who are into masochism are also more likely to fantasize about being raped. This, in fact, could mean that the entire “rape” fantasy is actually a desire to be dominated and willing suffering during the sexual acts isn’t that abnormal.

In other words, if you’re open to the idea that you or other couples out there engage in BDSM activities in their bedroom, you might get a better grasp of where these types of fantasies come from, and will find them quite normal. 

Talking about It

These sexual fantasies about rape are ok, but how you talk about them can be actually very tricky. There is this general concern that talking about rape fantasies can make it seem like the actual real-life rape is ok, which it isn’t. Bottom line is: what goes on in our heads is very different from what happens during an actual rape. 

Because of that, enacting such a fantasy is a better idea when you do it in a very safe environment, preferably with a partner that you’ve had for a very long time. Bringing this fantasy into discussion with a person that you’ve just met or whom you sleep with casually might not be the best idea. 

Fantasising about this hidden sexual desire is normal because, let’s face it, every woman wants to feel like she’s so irresistible, a man can’t take “no” for an answer. It’s pretty much the same thing with men” having someone attracted to you up to a point where they would ignore common sense just to sleep with you is a flattering compliment. 

So, the next time you’re fantasizing about a hot guy or another woman forcing him or herself onto you, remember that this fantasy isn’t exactly rape in the very definition of the word. And, if you’re seeing a therapist, it’s perfectly ok to discuss these fantasies. I’m pretty sure you’re not the only one to bring up that topic.

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