If you’ve watched “50 Shades of Grey” and think that bondage is a dreamy fantasy and you absolutely have to try it, you should know that what happens on the big screen isn’t always a reflection of reality. There are a lot of things to consider before trying bondage for the first time, and just because Anastasia makes it look cool, it might not feel the same for you.

Off to a Good Start in Bondage

Trying bondage is a natural sexual curiosity, so if you’ve ever felt awkward about it, it’s time to stop. There are more couples out there doing it than you could possibly imagine. However, for bondage to be a truly arousing and pleasant experience, you need to start soft.

As you start off your bondage experience, avoid investing in too many related items, because it will be a waste of money if you ultimately decide it isn’t for you. Instead, you can purchase more inexpensive items, like a flogger, or use whatever you have around the house (like ties, scarfs, or even the kitchen spatula). Before you go shopping, consider sex toys that are of low intensity.

Almost every trivial object lying around the house can be used in BDSM role-play: from clothespins to candle wax, even your average duct tape.

Play YOUR Bondage Role

There are two main roles in the bondage game: submissive and dominant. Negotiating your role from the beginning is important so that you can expand the experience to limits of pleasure for both partners.

If you find it arousing being told what to do and obeying commands, you will find the submissive role very exciting. If you want a position of power, dominant is more up your alley.

Have a Safe Word

Bondage has this way of freeing up people’s darkest corners of their imagination, and there are situations where thing can get out of hand. If you’ve never tried bondage before, you might not be certain of the things you really like and those that are a complete turn off.

Having a safe word is important, because it’s a brief and efficient way of communicating that you’re not finding a certain experience enjoyable. Testing your limits is something that happens very often in BDSM, and if you feel like you’ve reached yours, don’t be afraid to vociferate.

First Time Is Always Special

Sex is mostly about experimenting, and as with other stuff you experiment with throughout your life, you might not get it right the first time. Not every first bondage session is orgasm and fireworks, but if you do find it enjoyable, there’s nothing to stop you from trying again. And again.

Sex is also about communication, so talking with your partner beforehand can open up a world of possibilities. The more you get off your chest before the experience start, the more likely you and your partner are to stay in character and see this enjoyable experience through.

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