It’s that big moment, when the sexual tension has grown beyond your control, and you and the new man head for the bedroom to ease the pain. You lose the clothes and suddenly, your heated passion is doused with a dose of reality as you see that the equipment doesn’t meet your expectations.

How do you get on with your business when you feel like maybe your partner’s size isn’t adequate to provide pleasure? Believe it or not, this isn’t an uncommon issue, and it doesn’t have to mean the end of a relationship. In fact, it doesn’t mean giving up on a great sex life.

Considerations

First, take into consideration some circumstances that may have affected your initial judgment.

• Your perception could be off based on previous experience. Average size for a fully erect penis is about 5 inches, despite popular myths. If you’ve had several above average partners in the past, it could make your current partner’s junk seem defunct when, in fact, it’s not.
• He may not have reached his full potential. Just because he seems erect doesn’t mean he’s at his largest. Because a lot of guys are nervous the first time with someone new, the erection isn’t always at ‘full staff’. Give it another go, and see if he’s more of a grower than you thought at first.
• Even if he is a bit on the small size, most women are more stimulated by clitoral contact than penetration. In fact, far fewer women enjoy vaginal orgasm than clitoral orgasm, which means that you probably aren’t missing out on as much as you think.

Compensation

If you’re someone who wants to feel the penetration of sex and are worried that your boyfriend doesn’t have what it takes, there are ways to compensate. Here are some tips to keep it going under the worst of circumstances.

1. Use less lubrication. The wetter you are, the less sensation you’ll feel. To get the sensation from penetration with a smaller guy, skip the lube. And if you’re one of those girls who gets really wet, try wiping down prior to penetration to create a more ideal environment for a great experience.
2. Do your Kegels. I don’t just mean between sessions. Do your Kegels so that you have the strength to do them during intercourse, specifically squeezing the pelvic floor muscles in rhythm with your partner’s thrusts. This creates a certain snugness that can help satisfy both of you more fully.
3. Get the position right. Some sexual positions allow more stimulation and create more friction, especially across the clitoris, where you’re likely to have more pleasure in the first place. For example, being on top can help you achieve greater pleasure.
4. Rely more heavily on oral and manual stimulation. Of course, this is a conversation to have with your partner, in a gentle, understanding manner. You have to make your preferences known, and if you do have a preference for something larger, that’s okay, too. After all, sex is always a very personal and private matter, and each is entitled to have his or her own taste!