Oh, the joys of living in the 21st century! You can meet people online, and communicate with your latest romantic interest in the middle of the night without worrying about someone picking up the receiver from the other room and hearing your conversation or your parents bugging you to get off the phone already!

As convenient as dating is nowadays thanks to technology, it doesn’t come without its fair share of kinks that may result in late night headaches if you’re not into them. One such kink is most definitely sexting, and it’s perfectly fine if both people like it.

However, if your partner sends you a suggestive text at 2 am that isn’t even a booty call but just an invitation to a sexting session, how do you respond or get out of it if that’s not your kind of thing?

#1:  Give It A Try

If you put your mind to it, you can learn almost anything. Your dislike for sexting is learned behavior, and you can almost as easily learn to like it as you’ve learned to resent it. If you search the term ‘sexting’ you’ll find a bunch of obscene content that will sure make you uncomfortable, but combing through it all will result in you seeing more than a few good sample sexts that you can use when your partner wants some digital nasty.

Stepping out of your comfort zone for a long-term partner means he’ll reciprocate in any way you choose, especially if he’s aware that sexting is not what you’d call a ‘favorite pastime.’ It can mean you get to go out dancing more often or he finally learns how to turn on a washing machine. If you’re expected to sext with a short-term partner, leaving the borders of your comfort zone means you get to experience new sources of excitement. Don’t knock it before you try it, and let him lead if he’s more experienced.

#2: Let Him Down Easy

If you’ve tried it, and you still hate it, try to sugar-coat it as best as possible, so you don’t make your partner feel like an idiot for trying.

If you make him feel like his advances aren’t welcome, pretty soon you’ll be stuck with a fellow who doesn’t take the initiative, and you don’t want that. Suggest another sexual activity, such as doing it on a sex swing, wearing a thong to the beach when you go on vacation in August or whatever else you know he’s into, but you still haven’t done it or haven’t done it in a long time. Don’t leave him hanging because chances are he could become withdrawn or defensive about it, and that’s the kind of tension right there that you could do without.

#3: Remember Who’s In Charge

Remember that at the end of the day you don’t have to do anything that you don’t want. You’re the only person who is in charge of your sext life, and if sexting feels stupid, demeaning, pointless or you just prefer more subtlety just don’t do it.

If you’ve tried it, hated it, and were nice about saying ‘no,’ you’ve done your part. Don’t let anyone pressure you or guilt you into anything that you don’t want to do. At the end of the day, what matters most is what feels right to you, and don’t you forget that you always have a choice. Sexting is not for everyone, and there is nothing wrong with that.

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