When it comes to having a great sex life and body image, you probably put a lot of stock into your partner – the way your partner looks, feels, thinks, and what he or she likes. But if you’re not feeling in a ‘let’s get it on’ sort of way, it’s likely your issues start at home, in your own head.
That’s right – sexual health begins with a healthy perspective, and all sorts of things from work stress to low self esteem can weigh in on your ability to get aroused. And one of the biggest problems you might have is dealing with your own body image. If you’ve found yourself unable to fully participate in and enjoy sex because you’re worried that you’ve put on too much weight or that a certain aspect of your physique is turning your partner off, you’re not alone. But you are causing yourself a lot of unnecessary heartache. It’s time to get out of your head and back in the game.
Tip 1 – Focus Elsewhere
Negative thoughts and emotions are great at pushing the ‘off’ button when we’re trying to turn the sexy vibe on. If you’re too hung up on your own concerns regarding your partner’s impression of your body, or you’re too busy hating some personal attribute, you’re never going to get your rocks off. First, you should trust that your partner wouldn’t be trying to build the mood with you if he or she found you unattractive. Second, it’s time to get out of your head and use other methods to get aroused.
Set the mood with music or candles. These are external factors that many find more arousing than the actual image of anyone’s body – the right song goes a long way in affecting your subconscious mind. You can also push the thoughts of ‘attraction’ away by focusing only on sensation and the pleasure it brings. Don’t think about individual body parts; turn off ‘sight’ and rely only on ‘touch’ and even ‘smell’.
Also, when it’s time to start thinking about sex and a great night with your partner, wear something that makes you feel good rather than something to please your partner. Confidence is much more attractive than lingerie if you’re feeling vulnerable in it. therefore, if you’re more at ease in a pair of cotton pajama shorts and a cami, so be it.
Ignore Mainstream Ideas
It’s time to face facts – media uses sex and sexuality as a sales tool, and they create the ‘image’ of what’s sexually appealing. But when you go to work, look around the office. When you shop, look around the store. These are real people, and chances are, most of them have a partner who finds them sexy. That’s because, in the real world, not everyone looks like a Kardashian. And that’s okay because, in the 1920’s, the Kardashians wouldn’t have been sexy. The popular image of what’s sexy today is going to change as it always had, with the ideals evolving to keep people buying into new ideas. So, the best outlook to have is that you are sexy, as long as you’re confident and comfortable in your own body.
Open Up
We all hate to have that ‘talk’ about insecurities, but if nothing else is working, it’s definitely time to address things with your partner. We tend to manifest the worst for ourselves, assuming things that have probably never crossed his or her mind in our entire relationship. But the only way to know for sure is to talk about it and accept an honest response. Despite feeling as though it’s hard to say anything, you’ll find it’s the easiest way to relieve the neurotic thoughts about your body image that have been plaguing you.
