Imagine this: you’re sitting on the couch, watching television with your SO, a little bored with the show that’s on, and he leans over to start some foreplay in your relationship. You don’t get into it right away, but you start to feel a little aroused and figure it’s at least more enjoyable than the mind-numbing reality show. You may go to the bedroom or stay right there on the couch, but you get your sexy on, and it’s good but just doesn’t feel quite like it used to.

Consider yourself discontent – with your life, your relationship, and definitely with sex. Don’t think so? Check out some of the most common signs that you’re discontent.

5 Alarms to Listen For

  1. You’re bored. Whether you’re out on the town with your boyfriend, curled on the couch with him, or rolling in the sheets with him, you just aren’t excited about anything. And it’s not like you’re feeling very motivated to change anything – you’re just living with it. That’s a classic symptom of discontent.
  2. It’s difficult or impossible to get aroused. All the little things your lover could do – a kiss on the ear, touching that sensitive spot behind your knee, etc – nothing works. You might convince yourself it does, but sit back and evaluate the difference in your reaction, and you’ll find the truth.
  3. Your eyes are straying. Now, we all ‘look’ at other men, admiring from afar. It’s natural, just as men naturally notice women. And we tend to read romance and erotica. But if you find yourself turning to a sexy story more often than usual, or you’ve started really paying attention to other men – and maybe even flirting – you should stop to think about when and why this all started. Chances are, you’re experiencing discontent at home.
  4. You’re not reaching orgasm. Okay, a lot of women believe that not all women can orgasm. In fact, it’s very rare that a woman is incapable of it; they just haven’t had truly satisfying sexual experiences. Trust me, ladies, if you experiment with a little self-pleasure, you’ll find out. That being said, those who have had an orgasm with their current partner and have lost that ‘spark’ are likely discontent with sex.
  5. You’ve stopped communicating. You don’t make small talk, don’t argue, hardly spend any quality time together. This is a huge red flag that needs to be addressed because, quite possibly, you are both discontent in your relationship.

Take the time to evaluate, and be honest about how you’re feeling. Then, sit down to talk with your special someone, and work together to find the root of the problem. Keep in mind how much you care about each other, and be patient and receptive, keeping an open mind. Remember, the line of communication has to flow both ways, so listen as much as you talk, and express your frustrations without accusations or assigning guilt. Together, if your relationship is worth saving, you’ll find a way to brighten the situation, probably for both of you.

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