Porn gets a bad rap. Especially in the United States, where we have this puritanical society that gasps and clutches at its collective pearls anytime the topic comes up, but behind the scenes, we’re devouring it – like, 68 million searches per day online kind of devouring it.
In one camp, there are those who say that porn is damaging to individuals and relationships. In the other camp, people are saying porn is a fun way to explore fantasies, and that’s it’s totally natural and healthy. And then there’s that whole grey area. Let’s not judge, rather let’s see what you can learn from porn.
Porn can help create a strong sexual connection.
Rather than tear your relationship apart, porn can help bring you and your partner together. Sharing an experience that gets you both aroused and can lead to mind-blowing sex.
Your partner can be aroused by someone else, and it’s OK.
One of the main reasons many people don’t incorporate porn in their play with partners is the potential for insecurity. Watching porn together can show you that being aroused by another human body is a natural, biological response.
Every pizza delivery guy has a good chance of getting a blow job as a tip.
Nah, not really. What you can learn from porn, though, is what the most common fantasies are, and this can help you with fulfilling a few of those fantasies for or with your partner.
Masturbation is hot.
Women (and men): If you’re feeling self-conscious about touching yourself in front of your partner – don’t be! If porn over the years has taught us anything, it’s that we really like to watch.
Dirty talk works.
Maybe you like to be called certain degrading names during sex, and maybe you don’t. Some kind of dirty talk, though, can be super effective in shifting your sex drive from first gear to fourth.
Sex is more than intercourse.
Thank you, porn, for teaching youngsters this tip, even if you’re not always accurate in what you portray (i.e., some sort of clitoral play is necessary for most women to achieve orgasm). Oral, anal, nipple play, and so many other versions of sex exist.
Spit is a great natural lubricant.
Although a lot of porn shows women raring to go as soon as a man whips it out, the reality is that women need a little more attention for a bit longer to ensure her lady bits are ready. If not, a little bit of saliva can get things going faster.
Sex is not something that only happens between a man and a woman.
Not only are there plenty of different sexual orientations, there are all sorts of fetishes and fantasies out there – and you aren’t alone in your desires.
Not all women shave.
Some women and men are totally hairless, while others prefer to keep a natural bush growing. It all comes down to personal preference, and that’s OK.
Toys can be fun.
Vibrators, dildos, and other toys can make a fun sexual experience even better, and the toy certainly doesn’t replace a partner.
Porn’s bad reputation could also be because it’s traditionally made with the male gaze in mind. If it’s produced largely for a heterosexual male, then you’re missing a lot of other perspectives there. Not all women are down to do anal just because you tell her to bend over – and not all men are interested in doing it either, for that matter.
The industry is changing to include more female voices, more LGBTQ perspectives, and other groups of people who have been marginalized and fetishized. While you can say you’ve learned a lot from porn, whether what to do or not to do, there are many more lessons coming.
